Look Inward For The Solution...

I’ve been pretty lucky in my life so far. I grew up with both of my parents in my life, I always had a roof over my head & food on the table. My parents were always supportive and there for me even when I didn’t make the best of decisions in my youth and young adulthood. But even with all that support, I still put myself through a lot of unnecessary situations that caused an enormous amount of stress, anxiety and, at times, depression. At the time I would always find something or someone to blame my situation on. I guess this made me feel better somehow. It lifted the burden of responsibility off of my shoulders. There were times that I would go out drinking or have parties at my apartment right in the middle of a difficult time. I would simply drink and then forget my problems for that short time frame. It was an incredibly unhealthy time for me, of course I was also 18-19 so looking back I do cut myself a little slack. But ultimately I was self sabotaging and it wasn’t until later in life that I realized what was going on. I had absolutely zero self accountability, like none at all. And this was incredibly detrimental at the time but man am I glad I went through it.

Later in life, like 10+ plus years later, I finally realized that what this all came back to. I was always searching for something EXTERNAL to blame or fix my INTERNAL problems. I brought this mentality into my twenties as well. I stopped drinking when I found out we were pregnant with my oldest son, so I at least did not turn to a substance, but I still searched out external reasons for my problems.

 I feel this is such an easy escape for us. It’s really easy to blame whatever you’re going through on something or someone else. It almost gives you a sense of validation. Then if you surround yourself with people that are like minded, they give you validation as well and it just spirals into a lifestyle.

It took me a lot of time and reflection to finally realize this cycle. I still have struggles and problems that come up in my life, but now when these INTERNAL problems arise, I look for INTERNAL solutions. This is another concept that is so simple, yet so incredibly valuable. Nobody is responsible for my life except me, so why would I look anywhere else for any solutions to my struggles?

This is easier said than done, that’s for sure, but I feel like it was well worth the effort and it has really helped me develop a good sense of self awareness. With a high level of self awareness and humility you can make incredible progress on yourself. It will help you to be more confident in your areas of strength and humble enough to ask for help in your areas of weakness.

Not all problems are internal or within your control. And those types of problems will require external solutions sometimes. But for the ones that are internal I highly recommend searching within yourself for the solution. This process required me to be uncomfortably “real” with myself and was not an easy task. But once I gained the ability to look inward and the ability to humble myself, my internal problems seemed a lot lighter and easier to handle.